PMS !!!!

I hate PMS. I know when I'm going through it and I try to change how it make me feel but I don't always succeed.

When I start getting short tempered and that little Green Man comes and sits on my shoulder, I know I have PMS. AAGGHHHH !!!

The older I get the worst it seems to be, at least now I know what it is and can control it. I can bite my tongue when I want to make a scathing comment.

What about woman who do not know that they are suffering from PMS.

Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS) is a collection of physical, psychological, and emotional symptoms related to a woman's menstrual cycle. While most women (about 80 percent) of child-bearing age have some symptoms of PMS,the official definition limits the scope to having symptoms of "sufficient severity to interfere with some aspects of life".

Why I am mentioning it, is that I have just gone through it again and wondered how many woman out there are aware that their little mood swings could be due to PMS and do the men in their lives now about it?

I'm not suicidal or anything drastic but I do get irritated more quickly. I tend to also start doubting my boyfriends feelings for me, wonder why he never buys me flowers, why doesn't he think to cook now and again etc. I don't react to these emotions, because I know what the cause is. When I start thinking things like that, then I have a look at the calendar and say, oh yes, it is that time of the month again ;-)

So ladies, if you feeling like throttling you husband, boyfriend or partner. STOP and ask yourself why?

When do you draw the line?

When do you draw the line on your relationship? I listened to someone very close tell me of the trouble she was having with working on her failed marriage. She was wondering when do you say "I have done what I can, I have given all I have and I don't have anymore to give". Does she carry on another few months, another year. What time limit do you put on something like a marriage of ten years.

There is no more feeling from her side. She is prepared to go and see a physiologist with her husband, it see if they can salvage something. Even though she says that she does not have feelings for her husband.

I have been through something similar with my ex husband. Our marriage was over after two years but it took another fours years before we agreed to a divorce. Luckily there where no children involved.

From my experience, once the love and feeling is gone, it does not come back. What advise do you give? I told her to make sure that she has tried every possible option available to save her marriage and if it does not help then don't waste any more time on something that is only making you unhappy. She needs to also consider her children, who adore their father, and the effect that staying in a loveless marriage and/or going through a divorce is going to put them under.

It is a huge step to take. I know that she will do the right thing.

It bring to mind a line from a Reba McIntire song:

But it all comes down to the lesser of the two. Alone by myself or alone with you.

And if I have to be lonely I'd rather be lonely alone.

Being taken for granted!!!

Something that erks me like nothing else on this earth, is being taken for granted.

I do things for my loved ones because I want to but when I'm treated like I do not even exist, when what I do is not appreciated, I tend to loose my sense of humor.

And when I loose my sense of humor you notice it !!!!!

Ten years back, I would have cut strips off people with my tongue. I have learnt to curb my sharp tongue but it is very difficult to not show my dissatisfaction. I want to stop doing the things that I usually do to make life comfortable for my loved ones.

I ask myself why don't I get treated with little surprises when I get home? Why don't I get offered something to drink when a drink is being poured? Why do I always have to do the cooking? Why must I always pack the dishwasher? Why do I always have to do the laundry? Why do I always give the back scratches?

Why? why? why?

I just it is up to me to change things ..............

Let me begin

After being in some very difficult relationships, I have found an amazing man.

He is not perfect, he was the first to say that to me. He told me what he thought his imperfections were before we even met. That was what attracted me to him. He was not trying to be something or someone he was not.

We can all take a lesson from that, accept who we are. Love who we are. Once we have attained that, life is so much easier.

My previous relationship was a very difficult 7 years. My ex was and still is an Alcoholic, I thought that I could deal with it. He would get verbally and emotionally abusive. It was not easy but I loved the man and thought that I could deal with it, my daughter loved him like a father and the was very good to us.

The last two years were the worst. He would not leave the house, he was always under the influence. A stranger would not know that he was drunk because he look normal but I knew the signs and the little changes in personality.

We I got home after running our pub, he would be passed out in his study or on the floor in the lounge.

I most probably would still be there is he did not loose it one night and physically assault me. He denies it to this day. I called the police, they took statements and I took photos etc. Needless to say I left the next day. I spent sometime with my parents while looking for a job and place to stay. I had not one cent in my bank account as he had control of all finance but that did not stop me. I was no ones punch bag.

Within two weeks I had a job and a cottage which I moved into.

From that day on, I have gone from strength to strength. I have been so blessed. When I think back to what I went through I do not know how I did not go insane.....

People out there who are in the same situation, I know it is often easier to just go with the flow. Only you can change things in your life, you have the choice to stay or leave. It is not going to be easy but if you have the belief in yourself you can do anything.

The Beginning

Over the last few months I have had many family, friends and acquaintance's approach me for advice or just an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on.

I found that I was basically hearing the same thing, people unhappy with a situation that they found themselves in. They just needed someone to talk too.

If so many of the people within my close and small network were going through difficulty time, what about other people out there.

I would like to offer an open invitation to people who feel that they need to discuss their problems, not matter what.

Let me state up front that I have no formal training just my life experiences and common sense. I do not have all the answers but I do have a sympathetic or empathic ear.